I tried to get my mom to read it but getting her to read a non-fiction book is pretty much impossible

I have read “Boundaries”.
It’s a great book. I have heard of the change/change back concept. I’ve thought about rereading boundaries. I’d have to get it from the library but maybe I’ll read that other book. Thanks for the suggestion.
I have learned to say no to my older sister. At first she fought back really hard on it and of course called me lots of names that I won’t mention, but in the end my mom told me later that she respects me a little more. (Maybe.) It’s easy now because she lives in Chicago. Too far away to have to deal with on a daily basis, but when we do visit, I’m done after about a day or so. We don’t really talk but that’s her choosing.
My brother on the other hand is a whole different ball of wax since he’s the oldest and has the attitude that he knows what’s best for everyone. He won’t take no for an answer, so I have been ignoring him for the last couple of years. He’s a hard nut to crack.
It’s just proven to be really hard to get my mom to ignore him. He walks all over her. And she allows it because she thinks that’s the only way she would see her grand kids. We’re helping in that department. (He, he, he) They won’t be the only grand kids around for much longer. :)At least she didn’t buy his (flooded out three times) basement condo. Yes under water literally at times. (LOL)
The change is slow but I’m sticking to my guns. I have already seen the benefits even if it doesn’t always involve money.

It’s very challenging and a big emotional journey

I can’t recall the book off the top of my head but there is a family dynamic called “change/ change back”; meaning when someone when in a toxic environment makes changes to move outside the toxic environment, the other family members most often will not like the change(s) because, well, it’s change, so they try to bring said changing family member “back into the fold” hence the “change” ing person and “change-back” family members.
It’s very challenging and a big emotional journey to break away from this sort of relationship (been there, done that) so I commend anyone who is in the process or has also done the same.